Fiction

★Psychic Girls vs. Manta Rays

Psychic Girls are sleeping in Raleigh, North Carolina when they sense vibrations from spaceships filled with Manta Rays. Earth has no spaceships. They were going to build some next month.

Manta Rays are from Andromeda Galaxy. But first they evolved on Earth, and then left Earth because Neanderthals were prejudiced against them. Now Manta Rays want revenge and salt water on their homeworld has dried up. They have 50 spaceships.

Birth Of Rubber Boy

“I am having a baby,” said one of the Psychic Girls. Her underwear was all soaking wet and she was screaming her head off. The other Psychic Girls helped her with the baby until the baby was born. He had some pretty big balls.

“He is Rubber Boy,” they said. “Plutonium has affected him.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” said Melinda. She is the one who had the baby. Her ankles were really swollen.

“There was an atomic war,” they reminded her. “Rubber Boy is a mutant because of radiation from atomic bombs. He will need special clothes that stretch.”

“I will help you fight Manta Rays,” said Rubber Boy.

Manta Ray Command Ship

Manta Ray Command Ship is filled with water and Manta Ray spaceship controls are made of plastic. Manta Ray Commander looked through MantaScope at North America. “We will land in North America at Salt Lake City,” said Manta Ray Commander.

“Earth has no spaceships,” said Manta Ray Lieutenant. “But watch out for Psychic Girls who have sensed our vibrations here in space and once saved Earth from giant robots. Also Rubber Boy, who was just born and is a mutant.”

“Rubber Boy is filled with Plutonium,” said Manta Ray Commander thoughtfully. “We will stop him with Crystal LaserGuns we brought with us from our planet.”

Rubber Boy is a stupid name, thought Manta Ray Lieutenant.

Hiroshi and Aqua Cats

“Attention, I am Hiroshi and Aqua Cats,” said Hiroshi. He wore seaweed pants. Aqua Cats were hissing and spitting in tanks. “Some cats went through a Time Warp to the future and had babies, which became Aqua Cats.”

“We are all in Salt Lake City now,” said Psychic Girls. “To stop Manta Ray invasion of Earth.”

“Tommy Hunter is not here,” added Melinda.

Rubber Boy was bouncing up and down and making friends with Aqua Cats. “They sure do hate water,” said Rubber Boy. Aqua Cats were clawing at sides of tanks but could not get out.

“You are totally wrong,” said Hiroshi and Aqua Cats. “They love it in there.”

“Well it sure doesn’t look like it to me,” said Rubber Boy.

Hiroshi and Aqua Cats jumped into Salt Lake and attacked Manta Rays who were swimming around. Aqua Cats scratched Manta Rays with deadly black claws and blood came out. Then Manta Rays fired Crystal LaserGuns and stunned Aqua Cats. Hiroshi was bitten continuously by Manta Rays. He screamed and his seaweed pants came off and he was naked. Hiroshi and Aqua Cats were defeated and got the hell out of there.

National Laboratory

“This is National Laboratory in Maryland,” explained Hiroshi and Aqua Cats.

“You got the shit beat out of you by Manta Rays,” said Rubber Boy. “You lost your seaweed pants.”

“I know,” said Hiroshi and Aqua Cats.

“I am Chemistry Supervisor,” said Chemistry Supervisor. “I have an important job measuring, storing, and supervising dangerous chemicals for the government. I am desperately lonely.”

“We need help to stop Manta Rays who are planning to use Earthquake Gun to turn Earth into Waterworld, then live here when we are dead,” said Psychic Girls.

“How many kinds of guns do those Manta Rays have, anyway?” wondered Hiroshi and Aqua Cats.

Chemistry Supervisor wore a white lab coat, which was stained with chemicals he had been measuring before they came in. “Here are Ice Breath pills and Water Guns,” said Chemistry Supervisor. “Now find Jacques Cousteau in France.”

“Right,” said Psychic Girls.

“Jacques Cousteau is dead,” said Rubber Boy.

Rubber Dogs

Suddenly it was Rubber Boy’s birthday already. He wanted a Rubber Dog to play with as his birthday present but he didn’t see any Rubber Dogs.

“It is unlikely that there could be any Rubber Dogs,” explained Chemistry Supervisor. He was storing some chemicals now. "There is very little chance of there ever being any Rubber Dogs.”

“Oh,” said Rubber Boy.

Jacques Cousteau

Melinda called Jacques Cousteau on the Ultraphone and Jacques Cousteau materialized dripping wet with Aqualungs.

“Jacques Cousteau we need help to defeat Manta Rays,” said Melinda.

“Where is Tommy Hunter?” asked Jacques Cousteau. He was thin as a corpse but wiry. He had vast knowledge of the Undersea World from explorations onboard Calypso.

“Tommy Hunter is in Indiana,” said Psychic Girls. "He is having an operation on his clubfoot. He said we could use the Ultraphone if we were careful with it. There is no other Ultraphone but this one.”

“I am the bastard child of Tommy Hunter,” said Rubber Boy.

“We must go in Calypso to Salt Lake City,” said Jacques Cousteau. He was smoking a pipe with tobacco in it. He was just smoking and smoking his brains out. His lungs were shot full of cancer but he didn’t care.

“Man, you sure like to smoke,” said Melinda.

Calypso

Psychic Girls and Rubber Boy with Hiroshi and Aqua Cats sailed with Jacques Cousteau on Calypso to Salt Lake City to battle Manta Rays. They took Ice Breath pills and armed themselves with Water Guns. Everyone dived into Salt Lake with Aqualungs invented by Jacques Cousteau. Manta Rays saw them and attacked ferociously.

“We will kill you,” said Manta Rays. They were naked but it didn’t matter.

But Hiroshi and Aqua Cats scratched them with deadly black claws. They used Ice Breath to freeze Manta Rays who drowned in Salt Lake.

“Manta Rays are dead,” said Rubber Boy. His voice sounded funny underwater.

“But not all of us,” said Manta Rays.

They all swam to Manta Ray Command Ship and used Water Guns to explode the hatch. Manta Ray Commander looked surprised to see them swimming around and pointing guns at him. Manta Ray Lieutenant was pissed.

“Stop or I will use Earthquake Gun to turn Earth into Waterworld,” said Manta Ray Commander.

“We are helpless now,” explained Hiroshi and Aqua Cats.

Rubber Boy used mutant power to bounce off walls of Manta Ray Command Ship, and smacked right into Manta Ray Commander. Jacques Cousteau fired Water Guns savagely at Manta Ray Commander and Manta Ray Lieutenant. They were vibrated to pieces by Water Guns.

“Those Manta Rays were enormous,” said Hiroshi and Aqua Cats. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such enormous Manta Rays.”

“Yes,” said Jacques Cousteau.

Psychic Girls wanted to send Jacques Cousteau back to Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau immediately, but he wanted to steal technology from Manta Ray Command Ship, to help him develop better Aqualungs. Hiroshi and Aqua Cats stole a new pair of seaweed pants. Everyone was pretty happy now that Manta Rays were dead.

The End of Manta Rays?

“Is this the end of Manta Rays?” wondered Manta Ray Lieutenant.

“No,” said Manta Ray Commander.

Rubber Boy and Bouncy

Rubber Boy was at National Laboratory for some reason.

“I used special chemicals to make a Rubber Dog out of a regular dog,” said Chemistry Supervisor. “His name is Bouncy and he loves you.”

“Thanks,” said Rubber Boy.

Next: Rubber Boy and Bouncy travel to Earth’s Core with H.G. Wells to battle Morlocks.

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